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October 17 Nowness..?Well, I'm just sitting here at my ocmputer, tired, sick-ish, and trying to remember if I took my anti-biotics. I was on myspace, and I decided to look at alllll the messages in my inbox. Myspace doesn't delete them... and it was very weird. Its like, catalogued my history since grade 9... its covered lots of my anger and my happiness, as well as some sadness mixed in. I look back, and I feel very fucking sad. Like... depressed.
I feel like my life has sunk... whenever someone looks at me, its indifferent, a dirty look, or just looking at me like I'm some kind of leper. I used to have so many things going on... well not so many things, but enough.
Now I just feel isolated... its depressing. Is it my fault? or has the labeling and categorization process caught up with me again. I feel so fucking angry while at the same time not really knowing why. People are strange, more often they just make me feel depressed because of our incongruities. Is that my fault? Or is no one to blame and it just is. I need to get a larger handle on my life... so I'm going to make a resolution list which I haven't done in quite a while.
THE FUCKING LIST*
-Get your fucking licence.
-Get a fucking job.
-Get a fucking hair cut. (well thats kinda been a priority for a while..)
-Start hanging out with friends more often.
This place just feels weird. It feels like theres no one left to meet. Theres no more opportunities or possibilities. I feel trapped and I want the fuck out. Nothing here is exciting... nothing big ever goes on, this whole area IS A SINK HOLE IN EXISTENCE. I just feel... ugh lol. I'll feel better by tomorrow. Lol, maybe the world is ending? Now I'm too depressed to write onto a depressing novel.
Besides all that, I have an awesome gf called Amy =]. October 14 Out ThereThis is a new horror story I'm writing. Well I guess it could be more accurately defined as dark/horror-ish in the terms of text. I find writing horror requires literary skill to inspire fear or other emotions, so this will be more eerie and i'll put as much work and detail in as I can. It's a shame a lot of horror-movie directors do not have the same philosophy in terms of the content of their films... which are becoming more and more of the generic group survival theme. They strip the art from their movies and replace it with shitty, raw shock. Making people puke and soil themselves because of disgusting scenes or sudden sounds/images IS NOT HORROR. That is shit. Anyone can excrete, its not hard to gross people out when you're stupid and talentless enough to try. Where did all the art go? Anyways I'll stop bitching, this is an H. P. Lovecraft tribute. This isn't going to be a happy/good guys win/happy-ending story, but I'm hoping to deliver something interesting. There will be some weird/fxcked up content, so if you're uncomfortable with sexual/violent/socially raw content then don't read it, much less read it then leave me some type of rude input. I know thats an unlikely possibility, but theres always some self-reighteous asshole out there who might do so.
I've modeled the main character's personality after my own kind of.. such as likes, dislikes, speech, but thats it lol. It's always hard for me to think of a main character, so I find this is easier. The weird/psychotic/delusional aspects, I can safely say, are not derived from such O_o.
UPDATE:
I've decided to keep the content of this story to myself, since I've recently determined that in the future I will wish to make this into a novel. Since Canadian copyright laws extend the copyright for the author's life +50 years following, all of Lovecrafts idea's and works are in the public domain here, thus fair game. As well most of his work is in the public domain anyways since most of the copyrights were never renewed by his estate or any of the usurpers of his work... and a lot of the other copyrights are debatable since most of the records were non-existent. With the muckiness plus my existence in Canada, someone would have a very difficult time carrying out any kind of litigation against me. Plenty of authors and film makers have used his material as a basis or for ideas as well, and while he lived Lovecraft encouraged others to use his work and to expand on the Cthulhu mythos.
The reason why I'm keeping it to myself is that by posting this online it would be more than easy for someone to scoop the material out from under me and copyright it without my knowledge.
If you're a friend though and you wish to read any of it feel free to ask =]
I'll be putting as much work into this as possible, but for now I'm gonna go and get ready to hang out with Amy. later! October 04 Noumenal pt.2"Honey, you're blocking the fucking screen!"
He didn't move.
"Your wife is dead, she's on the floor over there. There is nothing on the tv screen, only static." This was the only way to deal with minds lost in their own demented realities; justify their surroundings by identifying them, and the their would often be forced to see through it's own illusions."
"...No, Honey, move out of the way before I make you move!" The fat thing spat, though it was clearly incapable of moving. Things in the Chaos weren't dangerous because of what they might do... they were dangerous because of how they affected the chaos.
Am I whole? Maybe I'm just as pathetic and insane as this individual..
He had learned never to stay still. Never remain stationary in Chaos. Resting was abidable, but remaining in any one area for safety was stupid and suicidal. The risks of falling into insanity or false realities weren't the only things worthy of fear in these places. Things lurked the everending chaos of what was left of the world, devouring and twisting people and what footholds were left in broken reality.
He walked over to the disgusting thing, grabbing it's wrists and leaning down to look into it's face. The visage was ghastly and as whole whoever this once was smelled worse than his decaying wife. He could feel the insects crawling onto his arms, biting and skittering, sending chills through his spine, but he ignored them.
"You're gone, you've spent god knows how long staring at a screen of static, devouring the corruption you produce; you're a bi-product of your own disgusting excesses. You don't even care that your wife is dead. The world is over. The universe has ended. There is nothing left. Accept it and die!"
"No!" the mans face contorted, spasming in pain, he tried to look around the unwanted visitor at the screen to escape the morbid revelations.
He slashed the man's eyes, spraying the dirt-smeared flowery wallpaper with black blood, "Stop looking away! You have no sight! No life! No name! No family or friends, no goals or dreams; everything that made life worth living has been stripped from you, because we are no longer living life, we are damned in pointless and directionless chaos!"
From then on it became hazy, the man kept crying out, struggling, trying to stop the visitor, but the slashes and stabs kept coming.
There was no man, just a bloody, pulpy mass of flesh where his chest, neck and face used to be. The sick sound of air being sucked ininto multiple apertures filled the air. He himself was covered in blood, as well as a good deal of the room. The knife and his hands shone a glimmering, dark red in the gray-ish light cast by the tv screen of static.
"Why won't you stop fucking breathing??" he cried out, falling to his knees and holding the sides of his head, "just end.. stop, let go and fall into oblivion." The chest shook, heaved, and at last, ceased it's rhythmic movement.
You think you're judge, jury and executioner...
He opened his eyes, "I know exactly what needs to be done! Whoever this once was would have thanked me for ending this thing. These are not peole!"
And neither are you. You destroy the existence of others because you know that yours is equally doomed and tainted. You're afraid because you think your own existence may be unredeemable. You'll run into your own executioner some day, soon...
"Shut the fuck up!" He cried at the shadows, the corpse, the tv...
Your name is in your pocket... you won't look though, will you? You've forgotten everything, because you've refused to remember or retain anything substantial. You're a coward, you run and kill those who suffer the same affliction as you, then brand it as a mercy kiling. You won't look at your picture... you won't recollect how you abandoned all those you loved. Do you remember her name? She still wanders the Chaos, after you left her...
"Lies!" He screamed, tossing the knife and covering his ears, "we lost sight of eachother; we were separated! I looked for her..-"
And when did you give up? When did you decide your true calling was the slaughter of helpless, over-weight degenerates who cannot raise a finger to defend themselves? You're not a hero, you're not impressing anyone or making a difference. You are pessimism incarnate, you're a pathetic waste; you are the drain in which hope is lost...
"Hope doesn't exist."
Hope is a manifestation of action. Hope is given to others, and derived from resolve as well as ends worth obtaining. Remaining true to oneself... . Cowards like you are therefore bereft of such, you're just a bully of insects in the meager shadows, while she still wanders... you're scared of such positive concepts though, are you not? Justifying anything positive would just legitimize the possibility that you're just the negative of everything you once were... we are the enemy.
"You're nothing!!!" he cried, rocking back and forth on the filthy carpet, choking back tears and trying to restore calm.
You choose to be nothing...
It was too much. He got up and staggered over to where his knife had fallen, dropping to his shaking knees again. The blade dripped with blood, flashing malevolently in the dull light, as if it hungered for more. These types of attacks had never been this bad.. he was cornered, there was nothing he could do...
Our name is Adam.
"No!! I swear I'll open these veins if you don't go away!!!" he cried, readying the razor sharp knife above his bared wrist with a shaky hand.
Threatening your conscience with suicide? A cowards way out. You cannot silence the truth your mind already knows.
This is the end...
Something touched his hand. Everything stopped, uncertainty was silenced, and two plus two equaled four...
Slowly turning his head, he saw the bony, decaying hand of the man's wife, trapped in undeath. Something stirred inside him, something he couldn't quite place. Distant images in his mind surfaced and sunk back into oblivion, dormant feelings and thoughts fought against their bonds..
He drew the knife away, and gripped her hand, feeling the cold flesh against his.
"It's going to be okay..." he said, feeling tears come down. What was this? It wasn't fear...
Her eyes looked into his, but he did not know what it was she felt at that moment. The decaying appendage gaving his hand a weak squeeze, then went limp. She stopped breathing.
He shook his head, feeling confused. Slumping against the wall, still holding the hand he placed the knife back into his belt.
"My name is Adam..." he reached into his pocket, and felt something. Withdrawing the object, he saw it was a polaroid photo. A man, about 21 years of age stood smiling, his arm around woman who was too smiling. It seemed like a cheesy scene from a perfect neighbourhood commercial. It was familiar...
Finally letting go of the corpse's hand, he went to the bathroom. The light flickered when he hit the switch, revealing a dirty bathroom, the tap spewing out a stream of reddish-brown liquid. Picking up an old cloth from the floor, he shook the bugs out of it and ran it under the tap. Careful to avoid getting any of the questionable liquid on his hands, he wiped the grime off of the mirror. A person stood there... wearing a tattered black coat, addorned with many blood stains.. some old, some new. He wore a scarf around his neck, and oily black hair spilled down from his scalp and over his face and shoulders. Whoever this was, he bore very little resemblance to the man in the photo, except for their blue eyes.
Is he dead?
His wrists were criss-crossed with dozens of white scars. Bags hung under his eyes. His face was smeared with blood. Raising his the cloth to wipe it off, he immediately noticed the person staring back at him did not mimic his movements. Without thinking, he smashed the mirror. Shards of glass crashed down,
None of this matters, I've been here too long, I have too get out!
His heart beat slowly as he raced out of the bathroom, tripping on the body of the dead woman. He heard several of her bones crack as his foot made impact. The empathy he'd had for the thing earlier was gone. The instinctual need to survive had taken over. Quickly picking himself up, he ran out of the apartment, not bothering to close the door behind him. The hall was still there, though now it appeared darker, the walls cracked bleeding, the numbers on the doors mixed up or missing. Screams and moans sounded from everywhere.
The world becomes you.. someone is coming
Someone knocked on a door. Looking down the hall he had originally come from, there was a new door on the very end. The hallway it turned into was gone.
Number 6426321651...
In life, people always questioned the existence of evil. In his time of living in the chaos, he had come to learn that in this broken reality, a deeper, darker evil existed apart from that which infested the heart of man.
Staying in one place for long was suicidal... I'm going to die.
Turning away from the sight, he ran away from the door on which some unknown thing knocked.
Never let yourself be in the position of being found. To be found is to not be looking, and to be caught by surprise. Thats how people die.
The doors zoomed by his vision, and far down the hallway he could see an elevator. Somewhere far behind him, whoever had knocked on the newly appeared door had switched to attempting to break it down. All at once, every door around him began to heave outward under heavy impacts, the sound of splintering wood and crying filling his ears.
His heart finally choose to pound in his chest, coinciding with his panic.
"I'll rend your flesh and tear out your eyes!"
Some people learned to control the chaos; or rather, the chaos took over. To control chaos, sanity and rationality had to be done away with. All mental subjugation to what humanity knew as the laws of nature and all things was disposed of. They essentially became... chaos. Uncontrollable by anyone, even themselves. Their soul was effectively scooped out. NoumenalWas that door there before?
He looked at the wall, and an steel door fit nicely into the grimy wall paper.
Perhaps..
He shook his head and continued down the corridor. He was certain of very little these days, sometimes he could remember a door, a person, a picture, and other times he wasn't sure if it had just appeared. Very little in what was left of everything was certain these days.
How did I get here?
As he passed doorways, he came to a stop infront of number 67. From within he heard the faint sounds of a television emitting. The door stood ajar, and he pushed it open.
What is my name? Does a name exist, am I anyone?
Sometimes his heart beat calmly in strange situations.. every now and then you would run into someone within the Chaos.. but you're never sure who you would find. Other times it would pound to the edge of bursting within his chest in the depths of the night. Night didn't exist anymore; except on clocks and what was left of human minds. Nor did light... everything just... was; as he saw it. If things could suddenly be, then wasn't it plausable that every was not? Empirical evidence had lost its significance a long time ago... you survived by not developing attachments to things or persons. You never tried to reason, you never tried to order your thoughts, those who did only went insane. Sleep didn't exist anymore.
Stepping softly on the carpet, a dead woman lay curled up on the floor. Her skin was far sunken and taught around her bones, her night gown hiding most of the once-disturbing sight. She still blinked, a very faint rasping breath escaping her mouth, the lips sunken back so that it looked like her lips were drawn back in a vicious snarl. A old wound, surrounded by long-dried black blood decorated her back, a forray of insects still eating away at what was left of someone who once was.
I used to think death was the worst thing that could happen.. death doesn't exist anymore.
"Honey, when is dinner gonna be ready?" Turning towards a dark room, he followed the source of the voice.
Cockroaches skitted across the dirty carpet, the air moist and thick with the smell of decay and rot.
No one whole is left...
A fat man sat in a La-Z Boy chair, staring at a tiny television set. He wore a gray, stained muscle shirt, but it did nothing to hide the enormously disgusting gut bebeath it. The fat from his body and arms rolled and seeped over the edges of his person, as well as the chair. Insects of all types crawled over him, and every few moments the man would pop one in his mouth, or a handful; living off the decay he generated. The world becomes you. He laughed and guffawed, pointing a fat finger at the screen of static and screams.
"Honey, come see this!"
Love doesn't exist to us anymore. He drew his knife, slowly approaching the disgusting thing which was once a human being. It was dangerous to let this type of cancer go unchecked in the Chaos.
August 23 Chapter 3: SecretsEifah opened his eyes and quickly shut them against the morning sunlight. The large, diamon-shaped window situated beside his cot allowed the intense sunlight Alya sunlight to wake him up early. Aldwyn always awoke early so he forbade Eifah to hang anything over the window. Aldwyn felt that Every moment of the day was to be spent awake, sleeping during time you could be doing something was a waste.
Stretching, he swung his legs over the side of the cot. Eifah rubbed the sleep out of his eyes after he had gotten dressed and glanced back out the window. Outside he saw a blue sky dotted with clouds, occassionally obscured by the boughs of oak trees. Not like the ones in the park.. these ones were beautiful. Unwithered, undying, they must have been around fifty feet tall... he couldn't quite place his finger on it, something just seemed strange about them. Even the leaves seemed to glow unnaturally in the sunlight. The arrangement of the trees and how they grew seemed unnatural, it was too... perfect. There was nothing unpleasant about it. The trees immediately surrounding the tower weren't nearly as old as the others below the hill, where the tower was located. Their predecessors had been cut down by Aldwyn years ago and used in the construction of his dwelling. If they had still remained, Eifah was sure that the sunlight wouldn't have been able to find a way through their thick trunks.
He heard the ceiling start creaking, a sign that Aldwyn had just awoken as well. Eifah's cot was on the 8th floor, while while Aldwyn's bed was on the ninth. He suspected this was so Aldwyn could keep guard on the door to the tenth floor, despite the twelve locks already securing it against intrusion. Sighing, Eifah got up and descended each floor of the tower until he was at the base level, where the workshop was. Crossing the cold stone floor in his bare feet, Eifah knelt down and struggled with the iron handle of the cellar door. After several minutes of heaving at it, wooden hatch popped open, almost sending Eifah onto his back. It was times like these that he disliked his masters prowess with mathematics and precision. The circular door was nearly the perfect size for the opening in the floor, what Aldwyn referred to as air-tight. Lanterns that glowed and intense blue without benefit of electricity or flame lit the stairway down into towards cellar, which was a long way down. The farther he delved, the colder it became. This was a daily ritual in the morning, when Eifah would venture down and retrieve the required items for all three meals that day. By the time he finally reached the small chamber, he could see his breath frosting in the lanterns' blue light.
August 21 Chapter 2: ArtA year passed, and still there was nothing. After the sixth month Aldwyn gave up on trying to jog my memory, and Eifah never had another dream in which any remnants of my former life were recovered. That dream from the first night he can ever remember sleeping was the only proof to himself that he had existed before that day. Aldwyn had done his best to fill in the blanks, telling Eifah about their short history and what he had apparently told Aldwyn in that time. Eifah detected no deception from Aldwyn... and ever since he had awoken the old man had shown in nothing but kindness and patience in re-acquainting Eifah with his old life, "You came to me a year ago as an orphan who had heard of the secluded artist in the forest, seeking to become my apprentice. It's been a lonely existence even in the beautiful place, so I took you in. You told me that you had lived on a farm not far from Nalien, the town on the edge of the forest... somehow the house had caught fire... but anyways, you were unwilling to speak of such things, and eventually you came out of your stupor as I introduced you to the world of an artisan. I found that creating a fellow artist was more rewarding than creating art itself."
"I've lived here all my life, " Eifah remembered Aldwyn telling him one day while he was assisting the old man with a painting, "I built this tower with my own hands. I carted the stone from a quarry north of here, and I harvested the lumber from this forest. Unless you treat your creations like art, then they'll be nothing more objects designed to serve a purpose... I do not simply live here; this is my home."
That day Eifah's job was to mix paints, keep different size brushes on stand-by in case they were required. Other days he prepared clay, sharpened tools and knives, cleaned up the workshop in the base level of the tower, swept, cooked, as well as dozens of other small jobs. It took several months but Eifah adapted to the role of Aldwyn's apprentice and ward.
Eifah had been astonished when he first saw Aldwyn's workshop. There were shelves lined with books, some with gleaming, hard leather covers, while others were falling apart and eaten by mould. The room itself was filled with a many strange things... clay blocks and sculptures, an easel surrounded by different paints and ingredients for mixing, paintings, a large map, a forge, a kiln, and hundreds of miscellaneous tools. It took him several minutes take in all of it's aspects, but it was overwhelming to see the instruments of almost every art imaginable crammed into one place.
Sometimes they went into the town on the western outskirts of the forest to sell and trade with the local farmers and whoever else took interest in Aldwyn's art. The old artist claimed he only did it for money and didn't care, but Eifah noticed how pleased he looked when people praised his work. One day they had both arrived back at the workshop after one such occassion. His master hadn't been aware that he was being observed, but Eifah saw him lingering around a trial piece of a painting that had just been sold. He had a sad look in his eye, as if he had parted with a child. He never made duplicates of his work. In the beginning Eifah had thought Aldwyn's isolated existence and obsession with art were unhealthy, but as time passed he began to understand just how beautiful it was to translate thought and emotion into artwork. It's like physically moulding something into the shape of your thoughts, weaving yourself into it. During each stage of it's creation, the art feels like it is a part of you; but when it's complete, that intimate connection is severed. You can never make anything exactly like it again, and it's as unique as you are.
When he sold the painting, Aldwyn was handing over something which had his soul etched into it.
Another day soon after Eifah's awakening, he had gone to the upper levels of the tower with Aldwyn to store new 'creations', as his master dubbed his works. There were 9 levels to the tower, and each one was filled with Aldwyn's work. Piles of objects and crates, each one imaginative and magnificent in it's own way. From the looks of it, Aldwyn had been here his whole life, devoting each day to making something new. A tenth level existed, but Eifah had found the door locked; in fact, about 12 different locks ran down the door. Half of them were some sort of contraptions requiring some sort of numeral combination to be unlocked, while the other 6 required keys. The door itself was solid wood strapped with iron.
"Aldwyn... whats on the tenth floor?" he had asked one day over a breakfast of soup and bread.
Aldwyn cast him a strange look that almost caused Eifah to shrivel back. He had only received that look once before, and whenever he received it' it was because he had accidently come upon a topic which Aldwyn had unforgiving memories of.
"Nothing which neither you or I shall lay eyes on until it turns to dust. You are never to try going onto that floor or inquire about entering. I've reserved that space for very valuable personal effects from another time.. which I am unready to dispose of..." Eifah nodded and that was the end of it. Eifah had learned much of himself from his master, but there was much that Aldwyn kept secret about his own life. He never told Eifah exactly where he had come from, only the details of his life so far lived in his tower. Later while Eifah was in study, he concluded that he would find out what it was that his master was determined to keep hidden from him and others. Eifah was painting the scene from his first dream; the dark, broken city, side-by-side with the jet black ocean, and both overshadowed by the lightless sky. Texturing the darkness of the city and getting the right shade of black for each part was difficult, but Eifah was satisfied and heartened by his progress. Whenever he made an irrepairable mistake, he left it as it was. The painting was only half completed since most if his days were spent doing chores for Aldwyn or assisting him in his own works, so he viewed it as a long term project. The image itself never dulled or left his mind, even a year later... August 14 Chapter 1: ReminisceHe dreamt of many things that night. He stood on a hill, covered in thick, dark green grass, illuminated by the pure white light of the moon. Fireflies danced in the air and many stars lit up the sky. It was a truly beautiful sight to behold. He breathed in the cool, salty air, and looked to his left over an ocean. The jet black water stretched out from a beach somewhere far below hilltop, it's horizon illuminated in the distance bt the large, brightly shining moon which sat not too far above it. Before him in the distance he could see a city. It sprawled over the hills, tiny and large houses, grain mills, massive towers, and innumarable other structures he did not know how to describe. What stood out first and foremost however was a large palace, it's remparts and towers clearly visible, stretching far into the sky. The city itself was lit up by hundreds of small dots of red and blue light. It was awe-inspiring. He felt something wet below his eye. Reaching up a gloved hand he wiped it away and examined the moisture on the leather. When he looked up he saw no rain clouds.
Where had it come from?
The scene changed. Now he stood on a high cliff, overlooking a city. It was nothing like the one he had seen before however. It was massive, crawling over a dark landscape, encircled by great stone walls, mostly crumbled and in great disrepair; but dark sentires, undistinguishable from that distance, watched.. . The air was cold, and in the distance great smoke stacks billowed ash and smoke into the sky. To his right he saw hundreds of massive platforms dotting the ocean, which blew great clouds of steam into the air. When he looked up, there were no stars, just darkness; he couldn't tell if it was because of the smoke and steam, or if there were none to be beheld. A great, obsidian palace sat in the middle of the necropolistic monstrosity, it's towers stretching so high, they pierced the skyward darkness like monolithic spears. The entire sight was chilling, there was no sound at all... just an eerie, deathly silence. The acrid breeze from the ocean changed direction, picking up force and whistling in his ears, carrying a chill combination of notes that almost echoed through the air as words...
"Welcome home..."
The city sped towards him, the dark buildings and great clouds of smoke blurring and stretching as he was pulled inside. As soon as the uncomfortable experience began, it ended. The world returned to it's normal proportions, and he found himself stading on a think, stone bride, suspended between to of the monolithic towers. Shining Obsidian stone glinted whatever little right there was to be had, reflecting a dull shadow of the world in which it dwelled. He could smell flames as he lay flat on his back, dazed with blood obscuring the vision in his right eye. Above him stood an imposing figure, dressed in black armor, vertically holding a cruel, jagged blade inches away from his chest. The black armor was slick with blood, and the figures breathes were deep and ragged, misting infront of his dark, shrouded face.
He felt wounds of his own, deep cuts and gashes marring his body, thankfully he was too weak to see them.
"Goodbye... Eifah." The sword slid down into his chest, piercing his heart and he felt agony like which he had never experienced. Someone not in his field of vision screamed..
He cried out as he awoke again, breathing quickly from the remnants of panic that his illusory death had induced. Reflexively he felt his chest, and there were no fatal stab wounds to be found. He sighed and fell back down onto his pillow. The light from the diamon shaped window was dim, but he estimated it was sometime before down that he had just awoke. The pain in his body had lessened, and he managed to push himself up and see outside for the first time since he had woken up in this mysterious place; and what he saw awed him. Wherever he was must have been situated on a large hill, for he had a view over a great forest. Thick boughs of green leaves and massive thick trunks in every direction. When he looked up, he could see that the stars were still shining brightly despite the ever lightening twilight. As in his dream, he saw the moon far in the distance, sitting overtop of what he thought was an ocean; the only reason he could barely see it now was the considerable elevation of wherever it was he occupied. He never really appreciated how incredible it truly was until the sun began climbing past the horizon. At first the rays of sunlight only touched the tips of the trees, but over a small time the light of dawn illuminated everything. The very leaves on the boughs seemed lumiscent, glowing in response to the sunlight. It was like nothing he had ever seen... not that he could recall anything to compare it to, except for the marvelous and horrific cities he had seen in his dreams.
He was torn away from his reverie and fixation on the new world he had just been introduced to as he heard footsteps creeking on the wooden stairs behind his cot. With effort he managed to sit up, but only caused himself to grunt in pain when he tried to twist around.
"Don't exert yourself. You look much better than yesterday but you still hurt yourself pretty badly." said Aldwyn as he came into view, hlding another tray and setting it down on the bed.
The proceedings were much like the day before, only this time, thankfully, he fed himself inbetween questions which were designed to guage the abation of his temporary memory loss. He ate his bowl of soup and an apple, giving an endless string of no's and I don't knows to the questions put to him. By the end he put the tray onto a box near the bed.
Aldwyn wiped his mouth from the food he had been eating meanwhile.
"How are you feeling today?" he asked, gathering up both trays and getting up from the small wooden chair that still sat beside the cot.
"I'm feeling better, at least now I can move somewhat and can feed myself, and my body no longer hurts everywhere as if I rolled off a cliff" he replied, recalling the unpleasant memoru of the day before when he had been spoon-fed by an old man he had only just met, with no memory.
"Well thats good, " said Aldwyn, smiling, "I'll you'll be back to your duties and chores within the week then I hope. I'm getting old and carrying you up all those flights of stairs was trying! I'll be back upstairs in a while to help jog your memory after I've returned these to the kitchen.." and with that he turned around and slowly made his way to the stair case.
"Wait! Is my name Eifah?" he asked quickly, since Aldwyn had neglected to ask that question.
As soon as the name left his lips he saw the old man stiffen and stop moving, and he ramained there for a minute or so.
"Yes.. it is. Your memory is coming back to you?" he said slowly, turning and looking him straight in the eyes.
"No... someone called me it in a dream... and thats all I remember..."
Aldwyn nodded, the steely gaze dropping and his body visibly relaxing, then he gave what looked like a relieved smile and continued back down the staircase. August 13 The Perfect MMORPGHeyy, if you're not interested in games, then you'll probably get bored after the first sentence or two. Unless you're a gamer or are into MMORPG's (massively multiplayer online role-playing games) then I would recommend clicking the x in the top right corner of your screen or going immediately to myspace.
I was thinking about role-playing games today, and I realized how pointless and arduous all modern online role-playing games really are.
When you play a game, you want to enjoy it. When I play a single-player rpg, I enjoy it, because the storyline is mostly in sync with the gradual advancement of my character's level and equipment.
However, when you take this experience to online where many people play together, it becomes butchered and twisted. I'm saddened that online role-playing games aim to design their game specifically to addict the player rather than give them a truly enjoyable gaming experience which will keep them coming back.
In the modern online rpg, you level up, kill stuff, and buy items. At first it seems fun, but it gradually becomes harder and harder. As well you want to be a higher level because you see a bunch of other players with wicked armor and weapons pwning everything. This causes you to play more and try harder, gradually being enslaved by a system that makes you want to play just so you can be the best.
To do this you must invest countless hours into playing the online rpg, but what do you have to show for it?
Anyone can do this, there is absolutely no skill involved. Just the minor satisfaction of having a cool looking character that is better than everyone else's. This is not fun. This is stupid and vain.
This is why I am never playing free online games. I would rather pay a fee, because I know that' the money is going towards the maintenance of the game and the advancement of the story. However even the pay-ones use the system described above to suck in players.
Now, what would the perfect online rpg be like? (in my opinion[which if ur not interested in then.. go away or something])
1. Characters:
a) You can make your character look/sound however you want, within reasonable bounds.
b) There would be no class system. Pick up up a sword or a bow, wear a breast plate or a dress, whatever the fuck you want to use.
2. Anti-Levels/Pro-Skill
There would be no level system. Yes, that is right, no levels in an rpg.
When you first make your character, you will be given a large amount of initial points to allocate to many specific character attributes, and that will be it for your character's existence. The only thing that will increase over time is your Fatigue.
Rather than in like most modern online games, where you're level 58937583, click on stuff and your wicked character goes and pwns it while you laugh and clap, you will actually be required to become skilled in the control of your character.
Example: You have character who is currently in a fight with another character. Lets say you have block, strafe right/left, roll, dodge right/left/back, jump, attack, etc, available to you through use of the mouse, the arrow keys/letter keys and combinations of keys. THis is not complicated. If kids can master dance dance revolution, flash flash revolution, and guitar hero, then this would be a breeze with practise, and would feel much more rewarding than watching your character take turns slashing/getting slashed, and winning or losing because he's a higher/lower level. Inbetween battle's your character will regain health faster
Note: I am well aware of the complications of multiple enemy combat. This would be based on a targeting system, allowing the player to cycle between targets in whichever fashion he chooses(or automatic cycling according to the most immediate threats. The fact is, if you're up against 8 enemies, you won't have high levels to save you from being killed. Someone will stab you in the back and you will die. Party combat will be a large part of the game. I have not completely refined the system in my head but theoretically a skilled player could come out on top.
The enemies will have non-displayed levels which determine their combat AI, depending on what they are and which point of the game they are in. As you progress through the game, you will become faster and more skilled at controlling your character in fights.
3. Money and Equipment
In this game, your character will be able to wear whatever he or she wants. As well you can change it's color. MOST of the game will be based around advancing through the story, not mindlessely killing things repeatedly for 3 hours so you can go up levels like in other games.
As well s/he will be able to change specific colors of their equipment.
The armor/attire will have no beneficial effects.
Some weapons will do more/less damage than others or have faster/slower attacking speeds, depending on the allocation of your characters attribute points and the type of weapon. Certain specials items will be available through completion of very difficult quests, but they will still only serve cosmetic purposes and have no super bonus effects. Weapons might however, I still haven't figured that part out.
4. Skills/Magic
In modern online rpg's, you buy a skill or get it, add points to it and put it to a hot key.
In the my pefect rpg, using skills would be quite hard. To use special skills/magic you will be required to execute fast combinations of keys during combat.
Outside of battle certain skills would be simple to use.
July 29 Prologue (revision)Due to inconsistency between different parts of my previous idea for a story line, I'm starting fresh. It's basically the same story as before, only the main characters been changed and yadda yadda you get it...
He slowly his eyes. Everything was a complete blur, so he let his eyes drop shut again. He felt nothing but a painful ache which wracked his body from head to toe. Where was he? It was cool, and wherever he lay was soft.. a bed? He could barely move, and when he tried lifting his head, excruciating agony shot through his spine. It even hurt to breathe. He could feel his lungs struggling, pain enveloping his insides if he took anything more than shallow breaths.
Where am I?
His eyelids felt like bricks, but he lifted them once again, finding that his vision had cleared enough for him to make out his surroundings. Above him were dark wooden rafter, all converging from the walls of the circular room to a central wooden pillar; the walls themselves he noticed were made of large, stone bricks which had been cemented together. Gently letting his head tilt to the side, he would have gasped at what he had seen, if he had been capable of doing so. The walls were covered in paintings, except for where a diamond shaped window allowed warm sunlight to pour into the room. Some of the pieces were dark, while others were bright and beautiful. Maby others leaned on the walls, or were carefull stacked in piles. Behind his bed he could see a wooden staircase descending to an undiscernable floor, while at the opposing side of the room another another ascended beyoung the roof of the room.
His bed, well, wasn't a bed. It was a small narrow cot, his feet nearly going over the end. It was comfry however so it mattered little to him.
A small tray had been laid out beside the cot, ontop of a wooden crate. An apple and what smelled like broth sat on it, but he couldn't lift his arms. Being helpless truly was aggrivating beyond reason, but his ears pricked when he heard footsteps ascending the wooden staircase behind his small cot.
It was an old man. His white hair and beard obscured most of his wrinkled face, and he wore a thick, gray, woolen robe. The old man must have been 7 feet tall!
"Good morning," said the old man as he topped the stairs, turning at the end of the rail and continuing towards Nate, "how are you feeling?"
"I feel like I've been thrown off a cliff," he replied weakly, "where am I?"
The old man looked at him quizzically and walked over to the cot, feeling his forehead and checking his eyes.
"You don't have a fever... what is my name?"
He stared blankly at the old man.
"You haven't told me your name yet..?" He replied. The old man shook his head, muttering he pulled up a wooden chair beside the cot.
"What is your name?" Asked the old man, sitting down on the chair, beside the tray of food and the cot.
He thought for a long time... expecting it to come to mind automatically. After a minute or two of trying to recall his own name, he shook his head as he realized it was futile.
"I don't know..." What is my name?
"You had quite a rough fall... everything will come back to you eventually. My name is Aldwyn, you've been living with me here in this tower for a year as my pupil. Several hours ago you were fell of a ladder outside and hit your head; I had to mortaring some cracks in the masonry. I shouldn't have let someone as clumsy as you do something like that!" The old man continued muttering while he picked up a spoon and the bowl from the tray. He began feeding him, asking a question every now and again, each quizzing him on simple topics about his life. After a half hour the bowl was empty, and the old man got up from the wooden chair.
"You need to get your rest, I will come speak to your again tomorrow and see how you are. Good night."
He was alone once again, with nothing but confusion. Being helpless and in constant pain was one thing, but being spoon fed was altogether humiliating. Yawning, he put the bitter thoughts aside. He was still alive at least, if he had fallen and hurt himself this badly he was lucky he hadn't cracked his head open. He could feel himself growing drowsy, and he closed his eyes; but he still concentrated intensely on one question.
What is my name?
He fell asleep. Amy ^_^Time: 5:27am
Music: None right now
Mood: Awesome =]]
Well I only got to talk to Amy once in the afternoon before I went to my friend justins house =[ so I'm writing this blog for her when I talk to her tomorrow =D.
She's an amazing girl, ever since me and her started talking I've felt really happy, and over the past few weeks I've been happier than I've been in a long time ^_^
She means everything to me, I love hanging out with her, and we both love video games lol >_< yes I'm a loser ;P
but i love her so I don't care =] As long as she's happy, I'm happy ^^ && i always wanna make her happy =]]
To me, she's the closest thing to perfect ♥
I'm just expressing how I feel so yep lol =D
I love you Amy July 28 Ch 3. ReminisceFor the next several weeks the routine of being fed and questioned continued daily. Every night he dreamt of things he had never never heard or seen, and every day he slowly lost his grasp on his memory. Over time, Nate-.. he, pieced the dreams together, sometimes they were in chronological order, sometimes they were disordered. Always when he awoke, they were ingrained in his memory, easily accessible; unlike normal dreams where they usually fade away in a matter if hours. What he discovered was a nightmarish series of dreams... as he progressed into the dark tale he often awoke shaking, on several occassions sobbing or crying out. Every night more was revealed than he would have rather not remem-... known.
***
Tatianus sat on his four-legged, wooden stool, carefully painting the eyes onto a doll with a ceramic head. He could hear Nate thrashing on the top floor, the creek of the floor boards clearly throughout every level of his tower. Every day had been like this for the past several months, but the boy was no longer weak as a kitten. He had started walking the month last, and had given Tatianus details of his dreams. The elderly 'Tatianus' could have been called an artist... he never had money problems, whenever he found his coffer was becoming shallow, he ventured out of his tower with a horse and wagon, peddling his creations to whoever desired them. The elderly man rarely ran into trouble, but as the years progressed, more and more people began whispering of expeditions outside the forest.
He out down the doll, finally finished. There would always be things left to create, so long as there was inspiration. The tower itself was a creation of his. It had taken nigh 10 years for him to build it from the ground up, slowly harvesting lumber from the surrounding area, then carting the stone from a quarry east of Airyana. The work was enjoyable, and the range of artistic expression was always expanding; it kept the old man occupied and happy throughout his long life.
While pondering the idea of a new painting, Tatianus got up and moved to stir the contents of a pot beside the forge. For a while the boy had been able to eat solid food so he had added things to the mixture, or when he felt tired Tatianus just picked from apple trees nearby in the forest. The world he had created was almost perfect... even if those who occupied it had long ago forgotten about him. He was just a mythical figure now, the one who carved, painted, and breathed life into the life. No one had come for his guidance or advice for centuries since the monarchy had risen over Alya, which was the first and only kingdom in this world. The royal family was kind, and the people had found new guidance and leadership in them. A few curious souls would sometimes venture into the forest, sometimes visiting his lonely tower, other times avoiding it's strange presence. He was the one who ages ago scribed the languages of their magic, which only soul of the world itself could hear and understand. It had not been he who wrote them however...
This is the closest I've ever come to a perfect world... he thought. Normally he would have left this world long ago, but unlike any of the other Archons, he had made a mistake. Every day he crossed his mind, reminded him that no matter how perfect this world was, it was doomed.
I'm just an artist... I create. I die when I am slain, and I die when I grow old.. what can I do against such evil of my own creation....
Ciar.
The name itself, only when thought, boiled angry within Tatianus, but it caused sadness and shame to well up to even greater heights inside him. Behind the unstained history of Alya, there was a story of tragedy and betrayal which he dearly hoped would never get it's chance to defile the new world.
I won't leave until my gravest mistake is set right again... July 26 Ch 2. AwakeningOnce again this is just quick writing, I'm gonna come back later and revise/lengthen it.
Nate dreamt of many things. The day before... though he didn't know whether that was actually the day before or not. Fatal stab wounds didn't fully heal overnight. He saw a replay of the knife slipping into him, though the PCP in his system had prevented him from crying out, but as well it must have been laced with something else. He had felt weak, though not nearly as weak as when he had awoken. He remembered the man checking his pockets, taking the cash out of his wallet and placing it back, then wiping the handle of the knife with a handkerchief as it protruded from the youths chest. It was the same person who had sold him the drugs. The rest of that night was hazy and didn't resurface in the dream.
The rest of his life seemed even hazier. When he tried, Nate couldn't recall his childhood. Rather than familiar reminisces, he dreamt of the forest in which he had awoken. He saw a figure walking through the unpathed woods, Nate saw through his eyes as whoever it was looked out over fields of tall grass, over an ocean..
He dreamt of the tower, of shelves lined with books, some with gleaming, hard leather covers, others falling apart and eaten by mould. It was filled with a many strange things... clay blocks and sculptures, an easel surrounded by different paints and ingredients for mixing, paintings, a large map, a forge, a kiln, and hundreds of miscellaneous tools. The vision from the dream was too quick to quite take in all of it's aspects, but it was overwhelming to see the instruments of almost every art imaginable crammed into one place. The scene changed, and he now stared at a tombstone. It was exquisitely carved, unmarked nor worn by age; it was perfectly smooth stone. The writing on it was unfamiliar, carved in deeply and accentuated by the shadows cast by the sun approaching it's zenith. The grave itself was located on a grassy hill, the individual blades dully reflecting the sunlight and appearing luminescent. The mound infront of the tombstone was now covered in the same thick grass which surrounded it. It wasn't until he looked out over the light blue ocean that he realized it was the same scene he had viewed earlier in his dream, only without the presence of the grave..
The light salty breeze from the ocean changed direction, picking up force and whistling in Nate's ears, carrying a chill combination of notes that almost echoed throught the air as words... "Welcome home..."
His eyes opened, and thankfully this time it wasn't followed by intense pain. Mobility was still severely limited however, as Nate discovered when he tried sitting up. The most he could accomplish was lifting his head. The aching in his body had dulled a little at least. He let his head fall back down onto the pillow. He had hoped he would wake up to find it had all been a strange dream. However this wasn't his bed, and he was sure this was not his room. The walls were made of thick, carved stone bricks, and paintings covered all the walls, except for where there were diamond shaped windows. The bed itself which Nate lay in was a small, narrow cot, his feet nearly going over the end. It was comfy however, so it mattered little to him.
Confusion still clouded his thoughts, everything from... whenever he lay in the park, to when he had ended up in this strange place made absolutely no sense. Nate couldn't draw any logical answers, the answers he sought would probably have to be obtained from the old man. A small tray had been laid out beside the cot, ontop of a wooden crate. An apple and what smelled like broth sat on it, but Nate could still barely lift his arms. Being helpless truly was aggrivating beyond reason, but his ears pricked when he heard footsteps coming ascending a wooden staircase across the large, circular room.
"Good morning," said the old man as he topped the stairs, turning at the end of the rail and continuing towards Nate, "what is my name?"
Nate stared blankly at the old man.
"You haven't told me your name yet..?" He replied. The old man shook his head, muttering he pulled up a wooden chair beside Nate's cot.
"What is your name?" Asked the old man, sitting down on the chair, beside the tray of food and the cot.
"My name is Nate, where..-"
"No, it's not. That was the name given to whoever you were after your previous birth. You'll shed him soon enough and you'll remember your name," Said the old man, cutting off Nate before he could finish his sentence, " in time you will remember my name as well, in the meantime however you can call me Tatianus."
He's senile... thought Nate despairingly. The old man continued muttering while he picked up a spoon and the bowl from the tray. He began feeding Nate, asking a question every now and again, each quizzing him on simple topics about his life. After a half hour the bowl was empty, and the old man asked one final question as he got up from the wooden chair.
"Where did you live when you were five years old?" At first Nate was dumbstruck, but after several minutes of trying his hardest to remember, he gave up and shook his head.
"I don't know.." To Nate's astonishment the old man smiled for the first time, as if he took memory loss as a positive sign.
"You'll come to in time, and when that happens I'll explain everything; but for now rest, and regain your strength. We'll speak again tomorrow."
Before Nate could protest Tatianus turned around and walked back to the staircase, his ascent sending achoes of booted feet thumping against wooden planks throughout the tower.
Nate let his head fall back down against the pillow. Being spoon fed was himiliating enough, but being helpless while some senile old man tried to substitute Nate'd reality with his ravings was too much. Smoldering underneath the blankets on the cot, he soon felt himself dosing off again. Yawning, he put the bitter thoughts aside. He was still alive, but he still wanted to know where he was an how he would get home.
Where was I born... where DID I live when I was five.... ?
He fell asleep. July 25 Ch 1. DawnSorry if this seems short or unedited, I'm just running out the story in a blog so I can come back later and revise it. He felt weak. Nate coulddn't move, much less open his eye lids. Was he still in the park? Struggling, he opened his eyes. Pain. The sunlight seared his vision and he quickly shut them again. How long had he been asleep? Nate's body ached, and it felt as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. As time went by he became more and more conscious, at first determining that he lay on a soft bed of grass, then realizing he was naked. Starting had only earned him another round of pain, if less intense than the first dose of sunlight. He heard the rustling of leaves, the chirping of birds, and very faintly the distant sounds of water. He tried to call for help, but only a weak croak escaped his throat. Am I alive? He thought. I'm not in a hospital... yet I'm alive... I'm somewhere outside, yet theres no knife... Perhaps it was a dream? Nate lost track of time as he lay there, thinking and pondering, when he thought he heard footsteps approaching. They were slow moving and soft, but Nate became sure they were the sound of booted feet as they drew closer. Surely whoever it was would get help once s/he found him! Nate even held his weak, labored breaths in anticipation of rescue. However the footsteps continued towards him without pause. Maybe the killer had returned to finish him off? This thought caused fear the rise up in Nate, his heart painfully beating faster. It wasn't until a booted foot struck Nate in the side of the head and drew forth a pitiful moan that the footsteps halted. He heard a gasp and the rustle of grass and leaves as the stranger must've been kneeling down beside him. A finger checked his pulse.. "What are you doing all the way out here?! You're not supposed to be here," said the old voice angrily, and Nate felt himself get picked up out of the grass. He hadn't been carried since he was 5, and it was an unsettling feeling. The endless string of questions from the man who found him went unanswered and soon ended, probably having deducted that the boy wasn't able to speak, much less open his eyes or move. The level of the ground changed often, and wherever Nate was being taken must've been at a higher elevation than the surrounding area. Eventually he managed to open his eyes without them being hurt by the sunlight. Opening them a crack, he saw a blue sky dotted with clouds, occassionally obscured by the boughs of oak trees. Not like the ones in the park.. these ones were beautiful. Unwithered, undying, they must have been around fifty feet tall... he couldn't quite place his finger on it, just something seemed strange about them. Even the leaves seemed to glow unnaturally in the sunlight. Redirecting his gaze he examined the person who had found him. He wore a thick, gray woolen robe.. whoever it was must have been old, due to the thick white beard obscuring their face from that angle, and which prevented Nate from gleening of their other details. Letting his head loll to the side, Nate looked at the path ahead. It was definitely a forest, but it was strange as well. The arrangement of the trees and how they grew seemed unnatural, it was too... perfect. There was nothing unpleasant about it. Through the trees he saw the sun rising. As time passed he and the old man climbed a steep hill, emerging from the forst onto a wide hilltop. The weariness from the journey finally overtook Nate in his already pitiful state, but before he lapsed into unconsciousness, Nate glimpsed what he thought was a tall, stone tower dominating the hilltop. Wherever he had been taken, he wasn't in the grand national park.
July 24 PrologueI'm in the mood for writing right now, so I think I'mma write a fantasy story. I already have a 153 page one upstairs in 2 notebooks but thats a more conventional fantasy story =\ so if you're not interested in reading my work then leave lol, but if you are then read on i guess =]
Death is a weird thing. You're never sure where the passing takes place, sometimes you don't even know if it ever happened. Perhaps you're in a hospital somewhere, deep in a coma, with human beings around you arguing whether or not to pull the plug; because they put a price on keeping another human being alive..
Nate wasn't sure when it was going to take place, but the knife in his chest gave him the sure impression it would take place eventually. It was quiet, no one was around. No panicking strangers. No crying loved ones. Just the warm evening breeze and dim rays of light from the setting sun were cast in different directions by the large, twisted limbs of the oak trees. It was lonely.... yet peaceful.
Every moment Nate thought of different events in his life, and every minute his breathing became more shallow. Some memories caused him to feel a deep pang of sadness or regret, but those subsided as he realized that every memory caused this. Did he sincerely miss everyone and everything, or was he selfishly trying to hold onto life for the experience of it? Was life a drug or a privilege..
He gasped in excruciating pain for a split second, but it soon went away, replaced by a very uncomfortable feeling somewhere inside him.
Maybe a new life awaits me... he thought, hopefully. When you took life for granted you never really gave anything else consideration, if not seriously than even just for the muse... I don't wanna die.
He thought of Kaitlyn, a girl he had a crush on at school. Was he sad because he would never get to hear yes.. or no? He sighed and let his imagination carry him from thought to thought, deciding what his new life would be like. Then, without his knowing or his consent, Nate's life suddenly ended.
Rather than unconscious oblivion, he felt something else. Do you ever get that feeling where you've just fallen asleep, and woken up an instant afterwards? It feels like you're falling down onto the bed from a foot above it? Thats what it felt like... only a thousand times the intensity..
The pain was gone. He felt sunlight.. October 20 loveThis is a concept lots of teen guys and girls like to play with, unfortunately branding shitty relationships as loving, as if thats the ultimate safety pin that can hold it all together. It's a dream. When you try waking them up they get offensive because they don't want to see the truth. Love is an action, not a feeling, lust and attraction are base instinct, infatuations being a result of this. If a guy enters a relationship with only meaningless words that don't match his actions, then he is full of shit.
Love is an action, it's proven through what you give to eachother, not take. In infatuation you only enter needing things, socially demanding them from one another.
If you love someone you aren't afraid, because you've developed this, you trust yourself to be with them and not get hurt. You have to know them as a friend or well before you can actually love, just asking some girl you think is hot out and dating for a couple weeks doesn't make you eligable to love them. In infatuation people are insecure, afraid, and controlling.
Picture infatuation as two people coming to a table and sitting down, each with a bag labeled wants, and they're demanding things from eachother. Picture love as two ppl with strengths they have in common and being able to support eachother. Make no mistake, physical attraction is needed for their to be any relationship, but it has nothing to do with love. The bond does.
If your boyfriend treats you like crap, and he says he loves you, and you somehow think words and sentiments ar enough for it to succeed when it keeps crashing, then you're just playing doormat. An actual loving relationship isn't something that dies every week, if someone can't bear to face the possibility that their bf just says I love you because it's a generic term that mentally binds you over time, then it means they're afraid it's true.
A guy who loves you doesn't try to control you, he gives you freedom because he trusts you, insecurity is infatuation. Someone who can't trust you also can't trust themself... just as how a liar eventually can't believe anything he's told for suspecting it's a lie, and thief can't trust anyone he knows. Think on that.
NOTE
To prevent further misunderstanding, my friend whom I was referring to was Lynn, so all my other kitchener friends my rest easy again.
A guy who loves you is faithful and doesn't want to take things from you, only gives them. A guy who loves you will never try solving relationship problems with anger and apologies. This is something I learned in philosophy class, if you disagree with it, or if you feel my definition of infatuation is a prime example of your relationship, then you need to review your own definition of it. I have a friend in kitchener who is apparently loved by this guy who won't let her talk to me, or basically any other guy, if our friendship means less that a controlling relationship then it wasn't worth it anyways.
Love is an action, not a feeling. Infatuation is base instinct, learn to differentiate between that two rather than purposely distorting the differences. May 11 wateris good to drink.
I just thought up a brilliant idea for a rant...
really, its a tres good idea
its about all those ppl who think they need to have diet drinks and starve
themselves to be thin....
well naturally, wouldn't the most healthy thing to drink be water?
It doesn't matter how much they say its good, its not, it has all
the same crap you could gain from eating anything else, and its
all basically makes no difference.
Those diet bars and drinks... they taste good.
They have chocolate flavour.
Cherry, vannila, etc.
If they taste good, that means you'll eat more of them.
You're trying to get a bunch of desperate fat ass's thin,
but you're also getting them hooked on your food?
The companies basically make it the closest to substitute
to junk food, so instead of widening their loads on junk food,
they're re-making their addiction in 'health' foods, which contain
amounts of sugar to make them taste good, and widening their
ass's with that instead.
Why eat shit when I can go lick up puked up food off the floor...
They do not give a shit about you.
You buy it and they make money.
They find ways to make you buy more.
So that they can make more money.
Simple.
If you want to lose weight, eat normal food... don't eat junk food, don't
glut yourself on junk/health food...
drink water
get off your fat ass
.and travel distances outside your house...
on your feet and not in your car...
exercise.. that sort of stuff.
This is the simplest shit in the world,
but you all pay money for diet plans and crap like that?
How fucking retarted is north america?
People can rebutt with things like, say..
Oh but they're naturally obese
they can't help stuffing their
fuck'n face, better to gain the weight quickly
and die at the age of 30 instead of waiting for it to
slowly pile on till the age of 60, because its obviously not their fault.*sarcasm*
30% of americans are overweight and another 36% or something like that is obese...
Have you ever seen fat wolves, or squirrels, maybe an obese animal which is not owned or fed or cared for by humans?
No... I haven't seen any naturally obese animals...
We're fat because we have the luxury of being fat.
Because we have a choice.
You can eat sensibly, and with just water and/or other acceptable beverages,
without 60 chocolate bars/day, or 50 diet bars which taste like snickers and are
just as bad, which do jack shit for you in small or large quanitities...
and you can walk around once more without carrying your gut in a wheel barrow.
Or you can shoot yourself in the face with a shotgun using your pinky toe because its the
only appendage which hasn't been bloated with greasy fat which can barely fit in the trigger.
wait a tick...
I just thought of something else
NATURALLY OBESE FAT FAMILY
EXAMPLE OF FAMILY HISTORY
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
gen 1: makes an attempt to lose weight
gen 2: has a slightly easier time of losing weight
gen 3: has minor success in losing weight
gen 4: does a good job
gen 5: normal weight
gen 6: fit
gen 7: built
gen 8: anarexic and dies
Those were generations in the family(I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt by giving them a rational solution for their imaginary obese genes), the reason and obese gene would become is because the family does the opposite process... each generation gets lazier and lazier, and end up becoming fatter and fatter.
Now, just do the opposite, and it fixes it. yey
then again you might be really skinny and born in a family of wild elephants, but meh, this is boring now.
How can people let themselves rot physically and mentally in loathsome carcasses... I'm all for freedom... but honestly...
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