Just For Blogs..?

Well, I'm still slowly treading towards my goal of $2397, and I've become reinterested in writing!!! I've begun writing a glossary for a fantasy story I'm writing, and so far its coming along quite well. By a glossary, I mean I'm writing a mini encyclopedia of the world on which I am basing the book. This isn't a new method of procrastinating for me, I'm only including the information which I need right now, because often when I'm writing I find that I forget certain things or points from earlier in the story such as times, dates, unimportant names of places and people, etc. I don't have alzeimers, its just difficult as fuck to remember off-hand aspects of a fantasy world.

 

As well, I have a new obsession to add to the list (alongside paintball, that is still a priority). I am now obsessed with Neverwinter Nights 2. The only reason I'm obsessed with it is because of its toolset (the thing which allows you to make your own campaigns/stories/adventures, etc). People have complained that its complicated, but who fuck'n cares, that means you should learn how to use it. The people who designed the official campaign had to so suck it up. Anyways, to play this game, I will need a new computer. This computer will be a desktop, specifically an Acer Aspire AMD Phenom 9500 Quad-Core 2.2GHz Computer ($749.99) Theres other uber ones which range from 900 to 1100 but I think this one alone is overkill, so eh.

The Jeff is a solitary, fairly lazy creature. It sits around a lot, goes on msn, listens to random music, and generally wastes day after day.

 

Recently however, it has finally begun to break out of its loathsome bubble, and has found a great recreational calling which does not involve any seditary game/platform system! What could cause, such an incredible event you ask? It is the holy grail of outdoor recreational activities....

Paintball.

 

Yes, the Jeff is obsessed with paintball, and is now actively working towards finding an occupation, so that it may receive pay checks, and put those towards purchasing pwnz0r equipment because the rental stuff sucks total shit.

 

The holy items must be obtained by the Jeff before August 16, 2008...

 

This will cost around $2397. Crazy eh? However, I'm willing to, because it's basically the first out-door activity'ness thing I've ever given this much interest, and it would give me something much better to do during my summer days. Also I would finally get  a job, and get out more because of that. Also, I'm calling the young drivers thing for the march course, so I'm finally working towards my licence.

 

I feel really happy... it's like I've been stuck in a pothole for 2 years =P

Thank you paintball!

 

I just got back from Amy's, and I'm in a really good mood. She's amazing... she's really changed my viewpoints on life, and my place in the world. I used to tote ideologies and beliefs about totalitarianism and control being the answer.... but I'm not so sure now. Now that I've been lucky enough to be with someone like her, I'm not quite sure I believe in a world where such things wouldn't exist. The scary thing is that... that world can exist. It's a vision meant for the good of mankind, and I'm not the only person who's had it. It's beautiful and disgusting.... a world bent on balance, equality, and peace... a world with no suffering. A world without irrationality, without hatred, without sorrow, where crimes never go unpunished.. where there are no crimes, where there are no regrets, where there are no hopes. This ideal has potential, and while I wholly believe in it's necessity, after I've been with Amy for this long, I've realized that there are very beautiful things in the world. They may be outweighed and guised by the disgusting surface of this world... but all people deserve to feel this kind of thing. In a different mood, I would argue that millions suffer... and the minority of this world which enjoys it's existence should be willing to give up such beautiful things for the benefit of all. Maybe my mind will change in the future.... who knows, all I know is that now I don't really want a part of it. I'm still going to write Totus Socialis Unitas, or The Unition, but I have no plans to publish it. It's an idea which has merit, but if mankind truly needs that idea in the near or distant future, he will devise it himself, or he will find my book.

 

I love you Amy, and I always will, no matter what. I'm a horrible person sometimes... I never really think before I act, and it's only after that I feel horrible. I'm no better than a lot of the people I criticize, reality knows I've my share of flaws; but you make me a much better person.... you've been there for me where I've been alone or abandoned by others. I don't lament useless persons... a few have come and gone from my life, though not all were at fault, and I've many times been the cause of my own sorrows. I'm yours 100% Amy, and thats the way it will always be, for as long as you want me. Love, as I see it, is sacrifice. It's commitment... it's not doormat'ism, it's reciprocal. I can see you and think with certainty that you're all I want, and will ever want. I've changed a lot over the years... I look back on certain things and I do feel some regret on how they turned out, but they were precise turns on a path to this point in time. The world feels like it's slowed down... like the heartbeat of events has slowed down, or as I've drifted farther from that heart beat. A lot of the people whom I used to associate with seem disinterested in whatever connections I had with them... but eh. It happens eventually. I know a lot of people dislike or hate me, either for stupid or justified reasons. I'm tired of hating people.

 

Anyways I'm done now, I love you Amy , forever. It's been a very long time since I've written one of these =) I hope that when you read this Amy, it will make you smile, and that maybe any other readers will glean something from it.

 

The title of this blog? Tonight, I've been inspired to write a new book. I've had the idea of The Worm King floating around in my head, but now it's formulating into something more solid, it's a philosophical/fantasy/dark-ish lovestory fairytale thing, about a boy called Eifah, who goes on a journey to find a girl he's in love with after she vanishes from their hometown. Sappy eh? It's meant to portray the darkest and most just parts of mankind, the dualities and complexities of what we view as right and wrong, the essences of sorrow, hatred, happiness; you get it I guess. I'll be updating my blog hopefully as regularely as possible with installments onto the story.

 

bye.. =]

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

1:49PM

Music: Erasus by Subkulture (I really need to find more dark/inspiring music I haven't heard before)

 

...is incredibly boring. I can't think of anything to write. My ideas always get diluted by input from other things I like... I need a cottage like that guy from Secret Window, that would kick so much ass. Just to have a cozy retreat somewhere, a place where I can just write and think without outside influences.

 

So lol, future novels? They WILL be written, I'm just tired at the immediate moment and theres people walking around and talking loud.

 

Out There (horror/fiction) 3 pages (thus far) - Current project

Synopsis: Following the story of a boy called Blake, receives inspiration during a session with a psychiatrist. Propelled by his obsession with the occult, he travels south from Portland, Maine, to the Eliraz University of Massachusetts. Along the way he meets a girl named Cole, and they both descend upon the small, black-leather bound book, locked in the Library vault of Eliraz; neither knowing that they will be thrust into a dark world, hiding beneath the surface of the one they knew.

 

Noumenal (horror/fiction) a few previous blogs worth of unrefined ideas/thoughts - Current project

Synopsis: A story following the journey of Adam, in a world following the end of the universe. There was no crushing of matter back together to bring the Big Bang to a dramatic close. There was no judgement day. The protagonist searches for a way to escape and survive the Chaos, a broken and fragmented semi-reality of the demented thoughts and nightmares of the insane, while trying to maintain his own mental stability. On his journey he learns much about himself and mankind, guided by a malicious and sympathetic disembodied voice; whether it is real or a manifestation of his own growing insanity, he knows there must be a beginning within the end.

 

The Plague (horror/sci-fi) a few stories posted on deviant art years ago - Current project

Synopsis: First-lieutenant Eran wakes up on a derelict cryo-ship, floating in the cold, empty vacuum of space. The rest of the passengers are dead, and the power is failing. With a limited supply of air and energy, he sends out a distress signal, unsure who, if anyone, will answer in time, when the ships computer tells him it has been almost 3000 years since his last awakening. Uncertain and shaken, he sits in the dimly-lit darkness with the bones and dust, awaiting rescue. Nothing could prepare him for the dark, cruel, and unfamiliar universe that barely resembles the one he once knew.

 

Okay, these are my 3 main projects on which I am focusing my attention.

 

 

Today is Monday, October 29th, 2007

Right now I am listening to the premaster of The Tie That Binds, by Stray.

It is 8:59AM, and I gave decided that today is a vacation day. Ever since I got an XBOX360 I've basically spent 99.9% of my relaxation time playing Oblivion, so today I am not going to (nor the next several days) so yeahh.

I really need time just to sit back and relax, listen to music, and write. As well I feel like shit today, and I'm just generally tired, so as a student I feel it is imperative to take a day for physical and mental recuperation for the sake of my education, which is of the utmost importance.

 

Thursday - Accidently Skipped ( 5 periods missed )

Friday - Skippage ( periods 2, 3, and 5 missed)

Today - All will be missed

 

Game plan?

Tomorrow, I shall get alllll the work I missed in all my classes, excepting art unless we received some sort of work sheet; and philosophy, today we should be starting a new unit so all he'll do is hand out a new set of articles&questions, then talk about it for the entire class.

The philosophy teacher also has my hackysack. I'm not quite sure how it came to be in his possession, I'm guessing it fell out of my pocket last year. However it wasn't any time near the end of the year at it's disappearance, and no mention of such a possession being lost was mentioned to the class. So either someone else gave it to him, or he purposely appropriated it. This makes part of me really angry, but why do I give a shit? It's a sack with a bunch of blue beads in it, it's prett much worthless and old. I did have that hackysack since like grade 7 though, I think I got it at my first concert, so it has some memorial value to me. I think thats why it makes me angry to think it's been stolen by some crusty old fucker to toss around a room every friday with his classes. I used to respect Mr.Morrison, but in my honest opinion I think he's become a senile asshole.

Maybe thats why I'm not interested in philosophy as much as I used to be? The way he engaged the subjects within it and talks about them, it sounds more like he's proving something to himself rather than to the class, their purpose is to agree and justify his ideas. He doesn't seem to like me because I care about my appearance. He's quite irrational for someone who claims to be minimalist/determinist. Rather than bother to seek an answer as to why I overly care about my appearance, he will instead go on a tirade in class about how people believe others are looking at them, and how no one gives a shit about anyone else.
He never says anything directly, but I can tell it was directed at me. I have my reasons I guess, if he's enlightened enough to make those sorts of judgements without knowing anything about the subject matter then what the fuck do I supposedly know, right? He always made those sorts of remarks to me and justin in grade 11 philosophy so I know, and I'm the only person in the class his tirade was applicable to, and he was staring right at me, before the tirade, when i was moving my part over because it was blocking my vision.

I'm not arguing he was wrong, he's just an ignorant prick at the same time. I know people don't give a shit, I just can't help it. If for most of your elemenary years you were mentally beaten into thinking/believing that you're ugly, you would find it difficult to forget about. I guess thats my way of providing a Freudian cause.

 

I went to see 30 Days of Night yesterday and Saw 4 with Amy yesterday =D it was awesome ^^ on the ride home I fell asleep a couple times lol.

30 Days of Night was definitely the best vampire-based gore film I've ever seen. I thought it was really well done, but I didn't like the ending =\ sorry lol, I just don't like movies where the main character unnecessarily kills himself in the end. If he'd survived or something, as a human or a vampire, then there could be a conceivable story for a sequel? Then again there were loose plot endings, so there still could be. Interview With The Vampire is still my favorite story-vampire film.

Saw 4 was really well done as well, but it didn't have the same feel as the other movies. The ending didn't overly surprise me either. Sure, it was unexpected, but it just didn't have the mind blowing impact like the other movies. It wasn't exaclt clear either, I had to spend like 10 or so minutes just going over it to understand what happened lol.
I think if Saw is to possibly come back again with a 5th movie, they need a refreshed theme. Cops chasing a killer/people getting killed gruesomely/big'big surprise in the end is getting slightly old. The storyline is fine, people getting killed/learning a lesson and possibly survivng is all good, but every movie so far though seems to have had the same atmosphere. Lol, I wonder how well George Bush would do in a Jigsaw game. Random, I know.

 

"Hello, George. You've spent your life lying to those around you to attain your desires, and squandered the lives of the men and women loyal to you; you have used them as a means to the ends of your personal agendas, resulting in either the permenant maiming of their bodies, the breaking of their lives, families and dreams, or resulting in their deaths. To this day, your heinous crimes have gone unpunished. Today, George, we will learn if you will sacrifice your body to for one whom you care for, or sacrifice their life to spare your body. Across the room from you is a door, with 12 locks. On the other side, your daughter is unconscious. You will find the numbers 1 through 12 branded onto different parts of your body. On the tray beside you there is a medical scalpel. I think even you can guess what you must do. The locations of the keys in your body, through numeral succession, will become harder to access.

In 37 minutes, her room will fill with mustard gas, and the door's locking mechanism will bar entrance to it. At that time, the door behind you will unlock, and you will be free to go.
The clock is ticking George. Will you make the ultimate sacrifice for the ones you love?  Reach deep inside yourself, and you'll find the truth."

 

10$ says he would sit down, wait out the clock, and leave. Then he would declare the War Against Jigsaw! and use the death of his daughter as a catapult platform, maintain he knew nothing about it, and of course the flag-waving cousin fuckers would rally, elect him for another term, and go marching off to war for some crazy conservative who says that god talks to him (he did say that btw). Wow, that doesn't parallel the crusades at all. If I say Clifford the Big Red Dog talks to me I'm apparently crazy, but when a conservative president hears voices it's not considered a symptom of some type of psychopathy or mental disorder. Who gives a fuck though right? In the US all you have to be is a social elite with 25 million dollars and skill in rhetoric to run for president.

 

It's getting cold again =\ gr I hate winter so much; buttt I'll survive. I just hate how everything looks dead... it's kinda depressing. On the plus side my acne always seems to get better during winter lol. & I have Amy so Winter should be fine ^^. My worst drama's always seem to take place in winter though, but those are all over and done with so I will not go into detail on them lol.

 

I now have no way to get to school! My brother just left lol, so it's out of my hands =\ thats a load off lol.

 

I'm gonna go relax and drink chocolate milk or something.